# Sea of Thieves Right, so this one caused a proper row on the Discord. Tim wanted to write this because he only got an Xbox two years ago and thinks Sea of Thieves is the second coming. Sam wanted to write it because he’s convinced the combat is fundamentally broken and wanted three thousand words proving it with frame data from PvP encounters. John wanted to write it because he loves defending games everyone…
Picture this: you're thirteen, it's 1991, and your mate's older brother just walked through the door with a black plastic case that looks like it could house nuclear launch codes. Inside? Sonic the Hedgehog for the Mega Drive. We didn't know it then, but we were about to witness the birth of speed as a gameplay mechanic, wrapped in attitude and served with a side of "blast processing" that we'd argue about for decades.Fast-forward to…
I was rummaging through a box of old Nintendo Power magazines last weekend when I found it—issue 129, October 1999, with that haunting Skull Kid on the cover. The memories hit like a freight train. Not just of the magazine, but of what came after. Majora's Mask. Christ, even typing that name gives me goosebumps.Most people remember Ocarina of Time as the N64's Zelda masterpiece, and fair enough—it was revolutionary. But Majora's Mask? That was…
Timothy’s been putting off writing this one for weeks because he knew what would happen the second he mentioned playing it. Joe wants him to compare the Mongol invasion to something on the Genesis (there is nothing on the Genesis that compares to this, sorry Joe). Sam wants frame data on the parry windows. Carl just wants everyone to stop shouting long enough to record the podcast. So here it is, the honest version, from…
There's something oddly therapeutic about the gentle click of a plastic shell coming apart, revealing the circuit board secrets inside a console that's been refusing to cooperate. I've got a Game Gear sitting on my workbench right now—the screen went dark last Tuesday while I was showing my nephew Streets of Rage—and honestly, I'm not even annoyed. These machines talk to you if you listen, and this one's been whispering about capacitor problems for months.My…
Friday night, 1997. Four mates squashed onto my bedroom floor, backs against the radiator, controllers tangled like Christmas lights. Someone's mum had dropped off a multipack of Pepsi and a bag of those prawn cocktail crisps that turn your fingers nuclear orange. The N64 sat there humming quietly, that little red LED blinking like it was part of the gang. And there, glowing on the screen, was the weapon select menu that would spark more…
The Mega Drive sat beneath our telly like some kind of sleek spacecraft that had crash-landed between mum's ceramic dog collection. Black plastic, those gorgeous curves, and that power LED that glowed red like HAL's evil twin. But when Sonic 2 arrived in November 1992—wrapped in that brilliant blue box with Miles "Tails" Prower spinning alongside our blue blur—everything I thought I knew about speed got rewritten.I'd already worn grooves into the original Sonic. Green…
John is doing this one because Carl knows exactly what will happen if Sam gets anywhere near a Metal Gear Solid 4 review. Sam will spend four thousand words on the frame data for Octocamo transitions and never once mention that this is a game about a dying soldier crawling through a Middle Eastern warzone whilst his own body falls apart around him. Tim played this for the first time last year and spent our…
Standing in my mate Dave's bedroom in 1996, staring at his brand-new N64 with Super Mario 64 spinning in the cart slot, I felt something shift in my understanding of what games could be. Not just technically—though watching Mario's face stretch and squish in real-time was pure wizardry—but fundamentally. This wasn't just a step up from 16-bit. This was games stepping through a doorway into somewhere completely different.See, I'd been a proper SNES devotee up…
“`html Timothy began the fight before the Zoom meeting was fully loaded. He was defending Time Crisis against Samuel’s extreme dismissal of “gimmicky light gun nonsense.” Joe had his usual Sega bias going strong, claiming OutRun deserved the number one position because “it sold a lifestyle, not just a game.” MARCUS was constantly interrupting everyone to give them details about frame rates and polygon counts that no one asked about. David was quietly supporting Donkey…